My Son Excluded Me from His Wedding to Please His In-Laws, So this is what I did. Am I wrong for doing this?
A man turned to the internet to find out whether or not he was being unreasonable by kicking his son, future-daughter-in-law, and her parents out of his house before his son tied the knot with the woman.
A man living in New Jersey bought his son a four-bedroom house in Pennsylvania after he attended college there and decided he would like to stay there instead of moving back to New Jersey.
The man felt the home was a good investment as it would be a good place for them to go and visit every so often so they could spend quality time with their son between commuting from New Jersey to Manhattan for work.
The original poster (OP) paid the house’s taxes, services, and maintenance while his son was responsible. The arrangement suited both men well until the man’s son met his future bride.
While living in the Pennsylvania house, the young man met a woman, and their relationship soon became serious. He proposed, and his new fiancée moved into his father’s house with him.When the young man’s family met his future wife, everything seemed okay, with everyone getting along fine. However, when the subject of the wedding came up, things started to go wrong.The family held a “get to know you” barbecue at the Pennsylvania home so that their son and new daughter-in-law’s families could become acquainted with one another and celebrate the betrothed couple.
Initially, the barbecue seemed to be going well, and everyone from the respective families was getting along fine until the OP’s son’s fiancée, her mother and sisters, and the OP’s wife and daughter entered the house together with the young man.
Soon after they all entered, the OP’s wife and daughter came out of the house looking very upset. They informed the OP that they would be driving back to New Jersey immediately and refused to tell him why.
The OP did not question the women in his life any further, instead getting in the car and driving them back to their homes. Once they had arrived home and the women had had a chance to calm down, he found out what went wrong.While the future bride’s family had been inside the OP’s house with his wife and daughter, they told the OP’s family that they were not “their kind of people” and therefore were uninvited from the wedding.The OP was horrified by this and phoned his son to find out his opinion on the situation. He shared:
After that phone call, the OP took a week to calm down and then drove from New Jersey to Pennsylvania to talk to his son in person; however, what he found when he got there shocked and angered him.
When the OP arrived at his house in Pennsylvania, he found his future daughter-in-law and her family in his place, seemingly having moved into the home without his son letting him know it was happening.
His future daughter-in-law’s family asked why he was there, and he clarified that since he had been uninvited from the wedding, he was there to speak to his son. They then told him to leave their house. The OP admitted:
The OP’s son was not home when this happened, but his fiancée phoned him at work to let him know what had happened, having thought the young man owned the house, not his father.
The OP’s son then phoned him and asked why the OP was selling his house, to which the OP replied his son was living there rent-free, and since he wanted nothing to do with his family, he was to be out of the house.
The OP felt “in-laws seem to take over and we no longer count.” The young man, his fiancée, and her family were given 30 days to vacate the home, or a lawyer would evict them. People who saw this post reacted to it and gave the OP advice on the matter.
The people who had seen this post told the man to get a lawyer immediately and confirmed he was not unreasonable. Instead, people felt the OP was within his rights to kick them all out.