Katie’s heart skipped a beat when she found a flash drive that her late ex-husband Tom had forgotten about. Tom had been her husband for a long time. The things she found while she was driving would make her feel terrible, and she would always have a soft spot for the person she had found.
I’m 43 years old, I’ve never been married, and I don’t have any kids. My name is Katherine. My life is peaceful, and the way things have turned out makes me pretty happy. I usually work, read, and do other things during the day, but sometimes I go for long walks in the park near my house. The crazy times I had as a teenager taught me to value the peace that this life gives me.
On Thursday of last week, the peace and quiet were broken quickly. When I was going through my mail, I saw an envelope that stood out among the ads and bills that I usually get. It didn’t have any designs on it, but it felt very heavy. I opened it right away in the hallway because I was interested. The flash drive was the only thing there. It was a small piece of plastic that seemed both harmless and dangerous at the same time.
There was no note or explanation, and all that could be seen was a tag with Tom’s name on it. It had been more than fifteen years since I last heard from Tom, the guy I dated in high school and who used to be my partner. There was a lot of stillness in me as I looked at his name. My heart was beating faster than usual. Could this have any of the following effects?
Tom and I met for the first time when we were sixteen years old. Even though we were both too young to fully understand how complicated life was, we thought we knew enough about each other to love each other more. In high school, we couldn’t stay away from each other, and everyone thought we were the perfect pair. We got married right after we finished college. At the time, everything seemed right. As we worked on this, it felt like we were acting out a fairy story.
But the truth is not a fairy tale. We started to feel trapped in the small town where we lived. I was really excited to try new things, meet new people, and see new places. Tom, on the other hand, thought his life was great.
He liked our house, our habits, and just being with us. Because things were always the same and predictable, I didn’t feel free, so I felt limited. We were always arguing with each other, and the more I wanted to be free, the more we fought.
I finally had enough and could no longer stand it. I, myself, wanted to get a divorce. It was the hardest choice I’d ever had to make, but I thought it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. Tom and I were both very sad, but in different ways. We left behind broken hearts and lives that needed fixing and went our separate ways.
My hands were shaking as I tried to connect the flash drive to my computer. I could feel my heart beating very quickly as I clicked on the folder. You could only get to one movie file. There was some hesitation at first because I wasn’t sure if I was ready for what was about to happen. Still, I pressed play because I was very interested and felt very sad.
Tom came to see me on TV, but he wasn’t the Tom I knew from before. I felt my chest tighten when I saw how pale he was, how tired he looked, and how weak his voice sounded. He began the conversation by looking at me and the camera. He was the one who began it.
He began, “If you are watching this, it most likely means that I am no longer here,” beginning with “K Katherine.” His voice was shaking. This sickness is killing me, and there’s no way I’ll get better. The reason I didn’t tell you sooner was because I wanted you to remember me as I really am, not as I am now.
He took a deep, nervous breath in and then waited a moment. “I have given our experiences and the things that happened some serious thought.” Kate, you were the love of my life. I will always remember you. I’ve been feeling terrible about letting you go every day since I did it. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
As I watched him talk about his feelings and experiences, tears started to fall from my eyes.
“I really get if you have moved on.” The fact remains that I needed you to understand how I feel. He quickly looked down at my things and then said, “I have a small amount to leave behind; however, I would like you to have what I have.” It’s also fine if you don’t want it. You could give it to a charity or something else that means something to you.
He said goodbye and ended the video with a shaky smile. I was totally lost as I sat there, hearing nothing but silence in the room.
There was nothing on the screen after the video finished, and I couldn’t move. I could hear my heart beating so fast because it was beating so fast. The result of what Tom said shocked me right away and sent my body into shock. He was most likely sick at the time. Not right now; I couldn’t think of a way to fix it.
I quickly shut down my PC and then quickly shut down my phone as well. I had to find him, talk to him, and visit him while there was still time for both of these. It had been a long time since I had seen Tom’s number, and my hands were shaking as I looked through my contacts. Who is most likely to know about this? Who were the people he kept in touch with?
John, a college friend of Tom’s, would sometimes post on Facebook. I had a very clear memory of him. It is possible if he can give help. Even though my hands were shaking and my words were stuttering, I wrote him a note.
John, this is Katherine. I need your help right now. Could you please let me know where Tom is right now? Is he getting care at the hospital right now? I need to meet with him, so please give me any information you may have.
I hit the “send” button and watched the light come on. Right away, my heart rate dropped. Every second went by slowly, and the sound of the clock ticking made them realize that time might be running out.
After the message was sent right away, my phone kept buzzing for a few minutes. “Kather, I sincerely apologies for any trouble I have caused you.” John only said a few words, which sounded like a wave of ice. Tom left last week. Even though there were only a few close friends there, a small worship service was planned. He was the one who left you a box to find. It’s on its way to you right now.
I read the message more than once, and each line speaks to me more than the last. As I became more aware of how serious the situation was, tears began to block my periphery vision. I thought it was already too late. Because regret was a mix of grief and another feeling, especially guilt, it was hard to understand how painful it was.
What’s the deal with taking so long to get to you? Could I have done something to make his last days more pleasant? The thoughts followed me around like a virus, reminding me of time and chances I had missed.
In the days that followed, it was hard for me to figure out what to do. Tom left me a bunch of different things as a way to say sorry and forgive him. I knew I had to do what he asked and be nice.
Tom left me some small wooden boxes. There were lots of old, yellowed pieces of tissue paper on top of them. Inside them were lots of small memories. These memories were buried inside the box. As soon as I laid eyes on them, I was taken back to when our love was just beginning to grow, and everything seemed full of possibilities.
We had never been to a movie together before, and I felt a small, worn-out ticket stub between my fingers. When I thought about how Tom had insisted on keeping it as a special memory of our first date, I couldn’t help but smile. Even though the movie wasn’t great, the laughter we shared wasn’t great either.
A small snail was found under the ticket. We found it on the beach on our first trip together, which was a last-minute car trip to the beach. Tom joked about putting it in my hair and calling me his “mermaid.” I almost forgot about this moment of pure joy, even though it was both silly and cute.
The last thing was a picture of the two of us from our last visit before the divorce was finalized. Our friend threw a picnic for us, and even though we didn’t get along, we tried to smile for the shot.
After some thought, I could see the sadness in both of our eyes—that unspoken recognition that our path had come to an end. Even though it was time to say goodbye, there was still a desire to hold on to the other person.
I have all of these little treasures with me right now. Each one looks back on a different part of our shared history. These things are being pulled down by the years and the words that have not been said. They were not just things; they were pieces of a life I could have lived and a painful memory of the love that had once lit my world.
After some time, I finally got the nerve to go see his tomb. On this cool October day, the graveyard was a sad shade of gray, and the leaves were a bright explosion of color against the tomb. Along with the letter I wrote in answer to his video, I also gave him a bouquet of daisies, which were his favorite flower.
I start to say, “Dear Tom,” and my hand shakes as I press the letter against the cool stone of his grave. “I watched your movie.”Every word was clear, and I could feel every emotion.” What happened, my leaving, my silence, and the years that have passed since I left—I’m very sorry for everything. Besides the best gift you could have given me, I value the memories, the love, and the gift itself. I hope you can forgive me too; I’m sorry. I forgive you right now. I will always have a piece of you with me.
Once I dropped off the note and flowers, I stood up and felt a breeze. At the same time that I felt the whispers of the past, I felt calm everywhere else. It was time to take on Tom’s legacy with a heart that was mentally and emotionally ready to heal.
Even though the events and people in this work are based on real events, they have been exaggerated for artistic purposes. In order to protect privacy and make the story stronger, names, characters, and other details have been changed. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, or to real events is completely unintentional and had nothing to do with the author’s goal for the book.
If someone gets the story or characters wrong, the author or publisher is not responsible; it is not their job to make sure the events or characters are real. It is very important to stress that the story’s points of view are only those of the characters and do not necessarily represent those of the author or editor! It’s given to you “as is.”
