In a shocking family twist, a woman faces criticism from her sister after donning a seemingly innocuous outfit for a family dinner. Little did she expect her sibling and even their mom to take a surprising stance on her attire, leading to a clash of perceptions and unveiling deeper family dynamics.
In January 2024, an anonymous female poster shared her story in Reddit’s “AITA” forum. The Original Poster (OP), a 22-year-old woman, found herself entangled in a familial predicament involving her 26-year-old sister and the sister’s 30-year-old husband.
Providing some background, OP explained that her breasts had been large since adolescence, a striking feature on her otherwise petite 5ft2 frame. Throughout her life, she grappled with a perceived strangeness in her body, leading to a habit of concealing herself in oversized hoodies and shirts.
Driven by a genuine sense of shame and self-loathing, she diligently worked from the age of 16 with a singular goal–affording a breast reduction. In 2023, her financial efforts bore fruit, allowing her to undergo the procedure.
Although her breasts remained somewhat prominent, OP experienced an unprecedented sense of comfort and happiness in her own body, humorously noting the literal weight lifted off her shoulders.
Attempting to clarify her intentions, OP responded, explaining her discomfort with BIL’s stares.
The weekend before OP posted her story on Reddit, her sister and brother-in-law visited their family, prompting a planned dinner at a moderately upscale restaurant. Opting for a casual ensemble of jeans paired with a snug-fitting shirt, OP tried balancing comfort and style without revealing too much. In OP’s words, “I just wore jeans with a tight fitting shirt, it did not show my breast but since it is tight fitting you can see the outline of them [sic].”
As the evening unfolded, with everyone engaging in the usual conversation, a disturbing realization dawned upon OP–her sister’s husband fixated his gaze on her. A growing discomfort enveloped OP, mirrored by her sister’s prolonged silence, leaving her to speculate whether her sister’s ire was directed at BIL’s unsettling stares.
Later that night, OP received a text from her sister, chastising her for what she perceived as inappropriate attire in the presence of a married man. The sister urged OP to exhibit self-respect and insinuated that her clothing choice hinted at an attempt to seduce her sister’s husband.
Attempting to clarify her intentions, OP responded, explaining her discomfort with BIL’s stares. However, her sister’s terse reply maintained that avoiding such attention by not dressing in that manner was within OP’s control.
Frustrated and seeking support, OP confided in her mother, only to find an unexpected alignment of opinions. To her dismay, her mother sided with the sister, echoing the sentiment that OP’s choice of clothing was inconsiderate.
The weight of familial disapproval now compounded, and OP grappled with a growing sense of remorse, questioning whether she should have taken more precautions to avoid the fallout. In the end, OP couldn’t help but wonder, “AITA for dressing inappropriately in front of my BIL?”
OP’s narrative garnered widespread support from fellow Redditors, who unanimously declared her “NTA.” One user conveyed that they were in no way a Christian but pointed to Jesus’ response, suggesting that blame lies not with the woman but the man who fails to be accountable for his actions. The user concluded that, based on this perspective, OP was not in the wrong. Another user expressed agreement, stating that instead of calling OP out, the sister should have apologized for not defending her husband’s behavior. Regardless of the attire, the user emphasized that OP is not responsible for other people’s actions or reactions. A third commenter shared that OP is absolutely NTA for having a human woman’s body in front of her brother-in-law. They argued that the responsibility lies with the grown man to control where he looks and how he behaves, emphasizing that uncomfortable staring is not acceptable, especially at a family gathering.
The same Redditor criticized the sister’s reaction, stating that the sister was wrong to be directly jealous of OP. The user disagreed with the mother’s support, emphasizing that OP deserves better family support.
In a final comment, a user added that OP can’t win in this situation. The sister needs to recognize that the issue lies with her partner and her own mistrust of him, acknowledging that he will encounter women wearing much less in life.
